How to Deal with a Complaining Co-worker
Procurement pros are among the best, but no one is immune to complaining about their job from time to time. But when the line is crossed, and someone’s complaining won’t stop, here’s what you should do.
We all do it. Yes, you know what we’re talking about. The good ol’ work whinge. Procurement is a satisfying job, but it sure can be tough sometimes, and nothing can be as cathartic as a takedown of just about everyone around you and a whinge about just about everything under the sun.
While the procurement profession is still in demand and our global peers have risen to the challenges of the past 18 months, there are signs that fatigue is settling in. Only 52% of respondents in What Next? research report felt that their interest in a procurement career has increased since the pandemic, a drop from 62% last year. With all the stress and disruptions caused by COVID-19, it’s no wonder that we might be feeling the need to complain every now and then! If you’ve ever felt guilty about complaining about your job, don’t: apparently, people complain about their job on average 30 times a day!
While that may be true, we also all know someone that takes things a bit too far. You know, that procurement colleague (or worse, if you’re a manager, that employee) that whines until the cows come home, and absolutely nothing seems to be able to stop them. That person you end up resenting and really cannot stand to be around.
A complaining colleague or employee can really bring you down, and is something that needs to be swiftly dealt with. This is where your expert procurement soft skills come into play!
Here’s five tips for best helping (or at the very least, better coping with) a complainer:
1. Start by listening
If you’re going crazy listening to a complainer, the idea of listening more might be enough to send you straight to a procurement recruiter to look for your next role. However counterintuitive it may seem, though, one of the very best things you can do for a complainer is to listen.
Research shows that often, people who complain feel they aren’t being heard or understood. They want their concerns acknowledged, and they want to know others feel the same, or at the very least, can empathise with their situation.
For this reason, sometimes all it might take to (at least temporarily) silence a complainer is to say something like: “If I were you, I’d feel that way too,” or “I can see what you mean … that’s certainly less than ideal.”
Acknowledging a situation in this way may be enough to stop a complainer in their tracks.
2. Try to help them see things from a different perspective
Perspective is a funny thing, isn’t it? You thought your new CPO was great, until a coworker told you that she’d been fired from her last job. You thought your new supplier seemed trustworthy, until you learnt that they had previously been declared bankrupt.
A whining coworker is no different: you have to work to change their perspective, but this time for the positive. If, for example, they are complaining about a particular process or policy, try giving them some insight into why it might exist and what benefits it may bring. If their complaints are about a particular person in your procurement team, try talking about that person’s good qualities, or saying that they may not mean certain things they have said.
3. Be accepting
If you are sick to death of hearing complaints from someone around you, the last thing you are going to want to do is accept the behaviour. But sometimes, we can only change the way we respond.
Research into emotional labour shows that negative talk can often energise people, as it places blame on others and helps the complainer to feel more control over their situation.
For this reason, trying to tell the complainer to simply ‘be more positive’ may not be a great solution. The complainer needs to be real and authentic, so forcing optimism may not be the best approach for them. Instead, you may simply need to distance yourself from them and accept that their complaints are a way of them dealing with their situation.
4. Encourage them to find their own solutions
Often, complaining is a way of venting about bad people, situations or processes that largely feel out of our control. While some things may truly be out of control, there is always something that we – and the complainer – can do about a situation. Helping someone who complains a lot to see this can be empowering for them.
For example, if a colleague is constantly complaining about your manager, suggest that they speak to their two-up, or even HR, about the situation. Doing so can help turn their complaint into meaningful action, which may in fact change the situation or at least help them feel as if change is possible.
5. Call out the complaining
If we’re unhappy at work, it can be easy to get stuck into negative cycles, and bad habits. Sometimes, we simply don’t realise how far down the rabbit hole we’ve gone until someone pulls us out of it. In other words, sometimes a chronic complainer may simply not realise what they are doing, and may need a colleague to gently point it out.
When pointing out complaining to a complainer, try to do so empathetically – you never know what they might be going through. For example, instead of criticising them, simply point out that their negativity is affecting you, and that you’d like to help them be a little more positive.
Have you ever worked with someone who complained a lot? How did you deal with it? Let us know in the comments below.
Are there a few things at work getting you down right now? Here’s how to work with people you don’t like and how to deal with backstabbing co-workers.
