How to Succeed When You’re Not Your Manager’s Favourite

There are many unfortunate realities in procurement. At any one time, you might be accused of bribery, or be subject to emotional manipulation. However, from a career perspective, nothing can sting quite as much as finding out your manager has a favourite … and it isn’t you. 

As much as we’d like to pretend it isn’t true, everyone knows someone whose parents had a favourite child, and it’s likely scarred them for life. Unfortunately favouritism continues into the workplace. A survey of managers in the US found that 56% had a favourite in mind for a promotion before the formal review process had even begun. 

What this means is that if you’re a procurement professional and you feel as if you’re not your manager’s favourite, it can have a profound impact on your career. Not only on your level of job satisfaction, but also your general morale, and ultimately, performance.

Yet, favouritism can be difficult to spot, and even harder to quantify. Here’s how to navigate the challenging waters of favouritism.

Don’t Let Emotions Distract You 

With favouritism comes more opportunities. If you’re the favourite of, say, your CPO, it’s likely that you’ll be showered with desirable assignments, recognition, or even be on a fast-track for promotion. But if you’re not the favourite? It can be extremely frustrating watching someone else being treated in this way, especially if you think you deserve it. 

It’s entirely normal to feel like this, but you certainly won’t improve your standing with your manager if you focus on these feelings to the exclusion of all else. When we feel stressed at work, we’re more likely to see negativity everywhere and choose to focus on it. This can lead to negative spirals, where you shut down, make accusations of colleagues, or even consider quitting. 

If you feel your feelings dragging you down, take a step back, and accept them as valid. But also consider the possibility that you don’t have all the information. Your manager’s favouritism may be more about you than about them, perhaps they are simply more comfortable with your colleague, or they aren’t aware of how their behaviour might impact you. 

Communicate Openly and Proactively

If you feel like you’re not the favourite, it can be tempting to withdraw. You might feel as if you don’t want to bother your manager, or you may start to second-guess what you do and say. 

However, if you stay passive, you’ll miss an important opportunity to understand if there are any issues with your relationship with your manager. You need to use this opportunity to communicate openly and proactively. 

Organise a time to talk to your manager, and considering raising discussing the following: 

1. Expectations: Sometimes your manager may have expectations of you that you’re not aware of. Consider simply asking them: What does success look like for me in this procurement team? 
2. Performance feedback: When it comes to performance, the sooner you know that something isn’t right, the sooner you can fix it. Ask about the key areas your manager thinks you can improve upon. 
3. Your achievements: It might be the case that your manager simply doesn’t see or understand the great work you’ve been doing. Ensure that you communicate your achievements and also, more broadly, how they positively impacted the procurement team. 
4. Your career aspirations and interests: Make sure you let your manager know you’re interested in progressing your career and what, in particular, interests you (within and also outside of your procurement team). 

Having an honest and upfront discussion can help you understand where you stand.

Nurture your Network

Whether you’re the favourite or not, it’s critical that you continually nurture your network … both within procurement, and outside of it. 

If you have tried to communicate with your manager but still feel there’s an element of favouritism going on, it’s important to use your network to gather the guidance, recognition, and even opportunities that you deserve. 

There’s a few ways you can do this, including: 

1. Seek opportunities outside of procurement: If you’re looking to progress your procurement career, it’s essential to understand functions outside of your own. Consider reaching out to different teams and seeing whether it might be possible to participate in projects that align with your interests. This will help you build skills and relationships, but ensure that you always seek your manager’s approval before you commit. 
2. Engage in company-wide initiatives: If you have particular interests, for example, sustainability in procurement, consider engaging in company-wide initiatives to learn more. 
3. Seek a mentor: Mentors can be the ultimate source of knowledge and advice when it comes to your procurement career, and they may even be able to help you improve your relationship with your manager.  

Ultimately, it’s difficult to stay positive and motivated when you feel like your boss has a clear favourite, and there’s only so much you can do. It’s important to understand when your relationship might be worth working on, and when it could be time to leave. If you’ve decided on the latter, having a supportive procurement network will be even more important.

Have you ever been your manager’s favourite (or alternatively, not their favourite?). How did you manage this situation? Let us know in the comments below.